I'm an Ally

Today is the day that the Supreme Court of the United States of America decides on whether or not states can ban same sex marriage.  I have been a supporter of equal rights for my entire life and this is something that absolutely needs to happen. 

Normally I try to base my political opinions on economics, well-reasoned logic, and social justice.  I could go on and on about how so-called “gay marriage” or “same sex marriage” needs to be legal from any of these perspectives.  However, today I will tell you more about my personal journey and decision to support equal rights for all.

Sometimes I think that my 18-year-old self was far too wise for my own good.  When I graduated from high school, I made two announcements:

1.  I wanted a decade to myself. If I get married, I’m going to commit to that person forever.  Before that happens, I want a decade where I can be free to do anything I want without concern for how it might affect my partner. This doesn’t mean that I won’t date or consider getting married should the right person come along before then.  It just means that I know that once I make that commitment, it will be the last time that I can be selfish and think only of my own wants and desires.
2.  I didn’t want to get married until it was legal for everyone.  I was more than happy with the idea of a civil union since it is generally available to everyone.  However, I didn’t want to have rights just because of my gender or sexual orientation.  Now that it’s legal for people of all sexual orientations to get married in my state, I think that I may be able to comfortably say that one day I am open to the idea of marriage (unless, of course, SCOTUS decides that homosexual Americans are second class citizens in their decision later today).

I am not gay and have never to my knowledge been discriminated against due to my sexual orientation. However, this issue is something that I have deep and heartfelt feelings for. I am a product of a mixed race marriage.  Less than 50 years ago, people in the United States could not legally marry each other in at least 16 states if they were of different races or ethnicities.  Laws restricting marriage for mixed race couples in another 15 states weren’t repealed until between 1948-1967 when the Supreme Court ruled that anti-miscegenation laws are unconstitutional. 

My father is white and my mother is Japanese.  I’ve talked with people who never realized it was illegal for people of different races to marry at any time in the United States.  After thinking about it, they usually say that, “I guess that makes sense, given when that happened.”  This breaks my heart.  How can we forget the impact this had on people less than 50 years ago?

“Although there is no verse in the Bible that dogmatically says that races should not intermarry, the whole plan of God as He has dealt with the races down through the ages indicates that interracial marriage is not best for man.” (Bob Jones University, 1998...NO, SERIOUSLY! 1998!)

If it weren’t for the Supreme Court decision, I may not ever have come into existence.  In fact, there are a lot of people that wouldn’t be here today, including our President.  Yeah, did you forget that Barack Obama is mixed?  Some other notable individuals that are mixed include…Jason Momoa (Any Game of Thrones fans out there?  Yeah, this is the guy who plays Khal Drogo), Halle Berry (How many awards has this woman won, anyway?), Bill Richardson (Yes, the former Governor of New Mexico and presidential candidate), Lenny Kravitz (If you’ve never heard “Are You Gonna Go My Way,” we probably aren’t friends), and many, many others. 

For those readers that want me to spell out my point, here it is: We look back on the ban of mixed race marriages and generally think that allowing mixed race couples to marry was a good change (although this is not always the prevailing belief in certain areas or regions, it is the majority opinion in America).  Why is it any different for gay couples?  One day I hope that we will look back on this and wonder how it could have ever been (or continue to be) an issue.

For me, this issue is about not only the gay community, but for mixed race couples, and every other marginalized group in America. Whether you are straight, gay, black, white, male, female, or any shape, size, color, and orientation in between, you should care deeply and passionately about this issue and this decision.

In Turner vs. Safley, SCOTUS stated that there are four attributes of marriage common to all Americans. These attributes are:

.     Expression of emotional support and public commitment;

.     Spiritual significance, and for some the exercise of a religious faith;

.     The expectation that for most, the marriage will be consummated; and

.     The receipt of tangible benefits, including government benefits and property rights.

Note that there is nothing in there about sexual orientation or preference, race or ethinicity, or gender.  I hope that SCOTUS keeps this in mind when rendering their decision later today.