I've been slowly gathering these thoughts over the course of a few years and thought it was amusing enough to post somewhere. All of these things have been inspired by something I or one of my friends has done or experienced. Enjoy!
You know you're in trouble when...
…you
hope that chewing mint gum and wearing your lucky socks were enough to tip the
balance and get you a passing grade on your final.
…for
a two-hour test, you decide to answer all the questions you know first, then go
back and do the rest only to realize that you’ve answered all the questions you
know the answers to in 15 minutes.
…the
only job offer you get in six months of job hunting is an offer to have a
special showcase once a week at a strip club.
…you
look at your bank statement and realize that, thanks to the insane amount of
student loan debt you have, you will probably be able to afford a down payment
on a house at around age 50.
…you
realize that your younger sibling has a significant other, a job, a good
apartment with low rent, and a high school degree while you have no significant
other, no job, a mediocre apartment with stupidly high rent, a Bachelor’s
degree, and your student loan debt is more than the value of your parents
house.
…the
bank calls and the person on the other end laughs at you for applying for a
credit card.
…the
only food in your cupboard is mac and cheese, ramen, and pasta because you
can’t afford to buy real food.
…you
put “don’t fail out of grad school” at the top of your to-do list.
…going on dates is the only way you can think to meet new people.
…getting
married becomes more a question of financial stability than love.
…the
only thing your professor writes at the top of your paper is “WTF?”
…you
realize that you have applied for nearly two hundred jobs and have only had
three interviews.
…the
biggest accomplishment of your day is doing a load of laundry.
…you
take your computer into the store for repairs and the person helping you says,
“I’ve never seen that before.”
…you
get excited about getting a call from a fast food restaurant for a 10-hour a
week, minimum wage job even though you have a college degree.
…the judge says,
“I don’t like you,” in open court.
…the best part
of your day is that it’s finally over.
…after ten
weeks, you still don’t know what this stinkin’ class was about.
…you are less
confident about your job prospects after getting a Master’s degree than when
you got your BA.
…your roommates and
friends take bets on how long it will be until you get blackmailed into
proposing to your significant other.
…you made so
little money last year that the state starts sending you notices about services
that they strongly suggest you take advantage of (like low-cost phone service).
…the prospect of
working in the adult entertainment industry looks more and more appealing with
every passing day because none of the jobs you actually want will pay enough to
cover your expenses.
…online dating
becomes your go-to when you don’t have enough money for dinner.
…tearing apart
your room for new or like-new items to give to friends for their birthday is a
regular occurrence.
…you offer to be
the designated driver when people go out because paying for gas is cheaper than
paying for drinks all night.
…working on
school assignments at the bar seems like a very good idea.
…guilt and
relaxation are closely related activities in your head.
…you have to
decide between filling up your car with gas, purchasing groceries, getting your
prescription refilled, or paying your utility bill.
…student loan
payments cost twice as much as your rent.