I suck at dating

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m terrible at dating.  No, really.  I was talking with a friend last night that suffers from the same malady.  Only, for him it manifests itself as a slew of mediocre dates that end with the awkward thought of, So how do I tell them I’m not interested in them romantically, but think they are a cool person?  For me, as you have probably concluded, it’s partly because somehow I manage to find people that look fine on paper (or computer screen), but we end up being totally unsuited for each other by the end of date 1. 

The other thing that I have come to realize about this is that even if I do end up clicking with someone, I don’t really know what to do next.  For example, I’ve been on a handful of dates with a guy that I think has great potential.  Sadly, our schedules have been really incompatible this past week or so and we haven’t been able to get together.  This means that pretty much our only mode of communication is electronic in nature (text, e-mail, etc). 

Unfortunately, text and electronic correspondence can only get you so far.  I have wanted to ask him about what he is thinking with regards to this, but am not sure how to bring it up.  It just seems so uncouth to bring it up in a text.  I’m not sure what the next step even is. 

I’ve been told that I’m prone to overthinking things.  I do not wish to contest this allegation.  Especially now that I realize how accurate a description it is.  I’ve been pondering things for a few days and notice a trend: I’m ridiculous.  For example, I will send a text to him.  He will respond a few hours later.  No biggie. I usually text him back right away.  This is partly because I always have my phone on me, I’m a grad student and, therefore, have lots of open time with which to text, and partly because I check my phone constantly as it serves as both my watch and the way that I keep track of my tutoring appointments with students.

I understand that he works and is probably not able to text much during the workday.  I also understand that he has a life outside of work and that he is probably not as dependent on his phone as I am (although maybe this just means that I need to buy a watch and a paper calendar/planner).  Despite all of this knowledge and understanding, a part of me wonders, does this mean that he isn’t as into me as I’m into him?

Crazy, I know.  Illogical at the very least.  I must confess that I am surprised at myself.  I usually don’t get so caught up this quickly.  After all, I’ve only been on three dates with this guy and he isn’t very good at the communication thing.  A part of me thinks that I’m jumping into this a little too quickly, that I’m just happy that I finally went on a good date with a hot guy.  Yet there’s another part of me (the part that’s currently winning) that just wants so badly for him to get butterflies in his stomach when he thinks of me.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had butterflies like this, but I like it and I don’t want it to go away.