Letter to My Younger Self

Dear younger self,

Most of the time people write these letters to their younger selves after their lives have finally stopped sucking.  They are happily married, have their 2.5 kids, a house with a white picket fence, and a stable career.  Well, I’m writing to you without any assurances that we will ever achieve any of those things.   In fact, currently we are unemployed, single, taking on debt that could easily reach six figures so that we can go back to school, and struggling to make rent payments. 

Don’t worry too much, though.  Your future isn’t tragically awful.  You will finally make friends once you get to middle school, two of whom will stay friends with you for the rest of your life.  In fact, they will pretty much become a second set of siblings to you.  Speaking of siblings, you and your younger brother really won’t get along until after you move away for college.  Until then, it might be best to try to stay in different rooms from each other in order to avoid World War III. 

High school will be a very interesting time for you.  You will have some significant highs, win big awards, apply to college, get your first job, and play so many sports that you will be in the best shape of your life.  You will also have some significant lows. In particular, you might want to be careful once your friends start dating people and get “serious.”  Just because you think of them as your best friends doesn’t mean that they won’t hesitate to move you to the back burner in order to keep their boyfriend.  None of those relationships will ultimately pan out, but it will result in irreparable damage to your friendship with them. Oh, you will also have an opportunity to finally put a certain jerk in his place by taking four dates with you to one school dance.  Trust me, it’ll be awesome. One more thing: don’t give up on that thing that you tried out for in middle school band.  Something will come of it in high school.

You will graduate in the top 10% of your class and move on to a large university. You will go through no less than 5 majors before finally settling on the area of study that you will find fulfilling.  During that time, you will meet many new people and make some fantastic connections.  You will travel all over the world and have opportunities to step far, far outside of your comfort zone. Don’t hesitate when those opportunities present themselves, but also do a gut check every once in awhile.  You’ll know what the right choice is.

After graduation, life will not go the way you expect it to.  Rather than falling into a great job that puts you on a trajectory to greatness, you will struggle to find work.  However, remember those friends from middle school I mentioned earlier?  You will get to take an incredible trip with one of them during the summer after you graduate.  It’s not something that you would expect to enjoy, but it will produce some of the best memories you have with that person for years to come.

Despite your best intentions, plans, and hard work, you will continue to struggle to figure out what to do with your life and where you are going.  In fact, when you write this letter to yourself, you still won’t be sure where you’re going or whether or not you are making the best decision regarding your future.  You will continue to wonder what it is that you are doing wrong when it comes to dating even though you probably aren’t doing anything wrong, per se.  It just isn’t the right time in your life to find that Special Someone.  Despite struggling with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and feeling like you are somehow falling behind your peers, you are sure of one thing: things will ultimately work out in the end.  Probably in a way that you totally didn’t expect.  Even though you will have days where you feel like an utter failure and you will often think that everything you try is a waste of time, you know deep down in your gut that this is just a temporary state and that, ultimately, your efforts will bear fruit.

Now go outside, enjoy the sun, and get ready for your soccer game!

Sincerely,

Your future self  

Oh!  About those friends from middle school…Still your friends, only now they are married. To each other.  Their wedding will be a fantastic day and you will be so happy for them that you’ll want to explode.