This has been making the rounds on facebook lately and I've decided to throw in my two cents.
I have very mixed feelings. On one hand, I think that it's great that she's addressing this issue with her sons. Not only do I fully support her in this endeavor, but I wish more people would have these discussions with their sons. I also hate it when I see young women taking super sexualized selfies and putting them on the internet. Not only is it ultimately detrimental to them, but it's detrimental to women in general because it dehumanizes and objectifies them.
However, I can say from personal experience that blaming teenage girls and saying that it's their fault that guys "can't unsee" those pictures is flawed. I am extremely conscientious of what pictures of me are taken and which ones are put online. No nudity, no sexually explicit, and no trashy pictures (unless it's a picture of me going to a party as a garbage dump). Despite this and my own everyday apparel that usually consists of a goofy/nerdy t-shirt and jeans that may or may not actually fit properly (let's face it, they never REALLY fit anyone, especially those of us with non-normal proportions) with a pair of tennis shoes, I have still been the victim of the abhorrent behavior and attention from men that this woman is hinting at.
I know women that have been verbally and physically attacked by men who were making assumptions about their relationship with said woman. I myself have been the target of a few situations wherein a guy gifted me with incredibly undesirable attention and then got very angry when I politely told him that I wasn't interested and that I did not appreciate the attention he was giving me. I have been in situations where I have been told that I'm a cunt, whore, bitch, or some other terrible name, simply because I do not respond when a guy tells me that I'm a "sexy little thing" when I'm out with my friends or when a guy tries to hit on me at a bar by saying something like, "You are smokin' hot. Can I buy you a drink and then maybe we head out to a place that's less crowded"(True story). This kind of behavior is wrong and it shouldn't matter if I was sitting there stark naked or dressed more conservatively than a nun.
It doesn't matter if a women dresses in a ski outfit or a bikini, men who are going to treat them as objects or otherwise less than human will do so regardless. It shouldn't be up to the women to anticipate how men will react to them in order to prevent men from giving them unwanted attention. I shouldn't have to forego wearing my favorite pair of heels that make me feel tall and confident just because a guy might react to it. I shouldn't need to cover up my body just because a guy might think impure thoughts about me. That's the original justification for women in the middle east wearing full burqa and I don't want to reach the point in our society where I will be expected to compensate for a man's prurient thoughts, something that I have no control over.
I will admit, freely and openly, that I have caved to temptation and I have seen pictures of guys where all I can think of is, "Ooo. Yes, please, I'll order two." I'm fairly certain most people are guilty of this. The important thing here, though, is that I don't let it go any further than that. I think that a person is attractive, I admire, then I move on. This doesn't mean that I in any way expect the guys I meet or go on dates with to look like the guys in the magazines (actually, I would probably be very intimidated if they did look that good). I know that the people on magazines are probably photoshopped to within an inch of their life. I also know that any of my friends who start posting sexual selfies of themselves on facebook are either in need of slaying (as they have obviously been replaced by an alien pod person) or in need of some kind of help (possibly professional help if their self esteem has reached that low).
If you really want to change this trend and if you really want to see change, let's look at the whole picture:
Women, please have some self respect. Don't fall prey to the trend of sexualizing yourself for the sake of attention from people. Beauty is about so much more than sex.
Men, stop thinking of women as objects rather than as people. Sure, it's difficult not to look when you can almost see down some woman's shirt, but that's part of the challenge of being human. You either make the conscious choice to take the high road and resist temptation (I feel like that's a pretty solid theme in the Bible for any of you who are Christian and reading this) or you give in to temptation and continue the cycle of rewarding bad behavior.
Parents, talk to your kids about these issues. It's very difficult to resist following this trend, especially when "everyone is doing it." Heck, you've been there (even if your kids think that you are too old or out of touch to remember). I'm STILL there and I like to think of myself as a fairly confident and capable independent woman. My parents told me repeatedly that even though it would have been easy to do what everyone else was doing, I wouldn't be happy with it later. I can happily say that I have no regrets about ever ignoring "what everyone else is doing" and taking my own path, but that I have had regrets regarding my behavior when I followed the crowd.
Who let you out of your binder?
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